


Getting better

by The_Hawk_Eye



Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series), Karate Kid (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Developing Relationship, Drinking to Cope, Emotional Baggage, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Johnny, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, slightly emotional manipulation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-08 12:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17386469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Hawk_Eye/pseuds/The_Hawk_Eye
Summary: Johnny doesn't want to be Kreese.Johnny has to be better.When he stops running he sees where he has ended... He laughs because of course, he would come here. Of course, he would go to the only person he knows that can help him.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> After watching the series I had the need to write something about Johnny and how he tries to do the right thing after the finale. And this is what came out from my mind... 
> 
> English is not my first language so I apologize for the mistakes in advance. Before you start I have to admit that I have no idea about karate so everything is going to be really basic.
> 
> I hope you like it!

The first thing Johnny does when he sees his former teacher is to run. He doesn't know where but he can't stop running. He has to go as far away as possible from him. After all these years he is still terrified of him. He wasn't a good teacher, he only knew to teach through terror and pain. When he was a teenager he loved karate, he enjoyed the classes and going to the dojo but he was scared of his sensei. He was a bully and the only way he could have his favour was by being a bully. He wanted to be praised by him and he only heard words of encouragement by winning and showing his superiority around other no matter the means. The day he lost he showed him his true face and haunted him for months till he quit karate completely because he was a loser who couldn't win a simple match against an injured opponent. Johnny was a shame. He felt like a failure. And after years of bad decisions and alcohol, he had almost forgotten him but it was a lie; Kreese has been with him all those years because after three decades he has been teaching the same shit because that is the only way he knows how to teach karate.

Johnny doesn't want to be like him.

Johnny doesn't want to perpetuate terror and pain as a way to learn karate.

His pupils have to be better than him.

His pupils have to be fair warrior, not brainless bullies.

Johnny can't be his teacher.

Johnny doesn't want to be Kreese.

Johnny has to be better.

When he stops running he sees where he has ended... He laughs because of course he would come here. Of course he would go to the only person he knows that can help him. It won't be easy but he is the only person who can fix this.

Daniel understands.

Johnny takes air and breathes deep and slow till he finds the strength to call him. He has to fix this. He won't allow Kreese to take control over those kids. Those kids will be better than him. He won't fail them by letting them fall into Kreese's hands.

Of course Daniel doesn't open the door. So he jumps the wall and waits for Daniel to appear threatening him with calling the cops. Two seconds later Daniel is shouting at him with a phone in his hands saying exactly what he was expecting to hear. Johnny can't waste this opportunity.

"I need help!!!" He shouts clear and direct. There is no time for hubris. Those kids are more important than anything. He has to protect them. Johnny has to protect them. "Please help me... I made a mistake!" Johnny waits in silence. Daniel doesn't move and just looks at him incredulous till his wife appears to tell him something. Daniel disappears and Amanda waves at him. "Sorry!" He says after saying hello and feels stupid.

"Wait some seconds, he is coming." Amanda smiles before coming inside the house, leaving Johnny alone in her garden. He waits and after one minute Daniel is there. He looks angry and disappointed. Johnny can work with that.

"I'm sorry." He says as quickly as possible. "I didn't want..." How can explain what happened without making it sounds like an excuse? "I didn't want this to happen." He says after some seconds of uncomfortable seconds.

"What exactly?"

"All this... I... I opened the dojo to train those kids... I wanted to help them to be better, to defend themselves." He adds. "I... Miguel came to me and he was lost and needed help..." Johnny starts from the beginning because he needs to make him understands what he was doing with those kids. Johnny didn't want bullies in his dojo. Johnny didn't want to be like Kreese. He wasn't like him and those kids aren't bad people, they are just lost. They just need help. They need a new philosophy, a better one. "Miguel didn't deserve to win, not by doing what he did... it was wrong."

"He was just following orders..." Daniel is going to say something cruel so Johnny stops him.

"No." He cuts him. "I didn't want that. That trophy means nothing to me and after some time I will mean nothing to Miguel... He is a good kid."

"It didn't look like that."

"He wasn't following my orders but he was doing what I taught him." Johnny says with shame. "But he is a good kid."

For some reason, Daniel looks more relaxed. Johnny must have said something right because Daniel seems less angry and more ready to talk with him.

"He was your son." Johnny wants to cry suddenly. Daniel is right. Miguel hurt his son. Miguel did something despicable against his son and Johnny doesn't know how to make things right with Robby. He could have been his sensei, he could have been a better father... Miguel has shown him he could have been better but... It is all his fault.

"I am not a bad person..." Johnny doesn't know where those words will take him but he can't stop himself. He needs to say whatever he is going to say. "I am not a bad person. I am not..." He repeats because he needs to convince himself as well. "But I'm a mess... I screw things all the time... I made all the wrong decisions and... I... and failed my son and I failed Miguel and I failed all my pupils... I'm not a bad person but I'm a bad teacher, a bad father... I'm bad... I don't want... I need to fix things and I need help..." Johnny should be talking about Kreese , about the fact Kreese wants to take control over the dojo and his kids. Johnny should be explaining the situation with Kreese... "I'm a mess... and I don't know what to do and he is here saying I'm a winner finally... he congratulated me and he wants my kids and I can't let him have them. Without him I would have the time to make things better, to learn a new way to teach karate... But he is here and I know what he wants... I have to protect those kids."

"Who are you talking about?"

Johnny looks at Daniel and has to breathe before he can say his name. "Kreese. My sensei is here." He says. "He wants my dojo. He wants my kids."

Daniel's eyes look worried because he understands what it means. He has seen Kreese and he saw one of his worst moments. Daniel knows Kreese is bad news; worse news than Johnny.

"Tonight I understood what I was doing." Johnny continues. "When those kids came to my dojo they were losers and they needed help and it felt good because they gained confidence and they looked happier but tonight when Miguel did what he did... that was wrong. And I understood what I was doing. Cobra Kai doesn't have a good philosophy. I taught them to hit first. I taught them how to be bullies and that felt wrong..." Johnny hates what he has created. He wanted to give them the opportunity to defend themselves. Johnny wanted the best for them. They deserved respect and the opportunity to win a fight when they needed but instead... "And now he is here and I need to fix everything." Johnny wants to try to improve his relationship with his son but he is too scared to say anything. Robby looked so hurt that moment. "Please help me."

"Why do you think I can help you?"

"Because of the way you understand karate. Because of who was your teacher." Johnny has seen what he can do. "You took my son and... you took an angry boy and what I saw in that tournament... you did that."

Daniel nods with his head after some seconds. "I will help you but first I have to know what you want exactly."

"What I want?"

"Do you want just a new dojo? O what...?"

"I want to be a sensei. I want to have my own dojo and teach children." Johnny stops for some seconds because he needs time to find the strength for what he is about to say; because he is terrified of what he wants to say. "I want to be a father for Robby, I want to show him that I care, that I can be better. I would love to have another opportunity with Robby because he deserves better than what I was." Johnny wants a life he can be proud of himself where he can be happy and have a future. Johnny wants to show Robby that he can be better, that he can be something more that the person who pays his studies. Johnny wants to have what he dreamt when he was a teenager.

"It won't be easy." Daniel is not talking about the dojo or the fact he wants to be a sensei. He is talking about Robby and about the fact he is a mess who needs to put his shit together. Johnny knows that and he is decided. He won't be like Kreese and he won't continue like this. He has found his passion and he is going to fight for that. Now he knows what he can do. Johnny has seen what he can do with children, the way he can inspire them. Johnny is sick of his own life and he is going to change it because going back to what he had before opening the dojo is not an option. He has to improve who he is and his philosophy in order to have what he wants.

"I don't care." He replies because for the first time in years he has a goal. Johnny has discovered his passion. After the tournament, he turned his back to karate even though he loved it because he resented his sensei and himself for what happened. And then he resented and hated Daniel because he destroyed his life that day and because it was easier to hate the boy than accept the truth... but Johnny is not going to run from this and he is not going to blame anyone for his mistakes. He knows better now. "I'm ready."

Johnny is ready.

Johnny is not going to let Kreese near those kids. He is not going to let him break them. Johnny wants to build something good here. Johnny wants to create something... beautiful and he is going to protect it. Johnny will protect those kids.

He is ready.

"I'm here asking for help to the man I blamed for all my mistakes. I'm here asking for help to the man I hated till some hours ago." That has to mean something. Daniel has to understand what this means. "Please help me." Johnny offers his hands to close this deal.

Daniel goes to him and takes his hand. His touch is warm and Johnny feels safe and sound while the handshake last. He puts his other hand over Daniel's and makes the contact longer between them. He needs this. He needs this moment... He is completely lost and touching Daniel feels like if he would have found a lighthouse in the middle of a storm. "Thank you..." He mumbles with relief.

"Do you want to come inside...?" Robby is inside and Johnny knows what that means. Daniel is giving him the opportunity to talk to him.

"Tell him I'm sorry." Johnny knows his soon well enough to know he won't want to see him.

"Tell him that yourself." Daniel pushes him and without letting his hand go he guides him inside the house. Johnny is scared but follows him because he wants to see Robby so bad.

"He won't..."

"It doesn't matter. He will see you and that will make a difference even if he doesn't accept your words." Daniel is right of course but that doesn't change the fact Johnny is terrified.

It is awful. His son is sitting in the coach and he looks miserable. When their eyes meet he can feel the hate coming from them. Robby hates him. Johnny doesn't know how to start but at least he doesn't run from him. Daniel gives him a little and gently push in his shoulder. He can do this.

"I'm..."

"Save it." He cuts him with a vicious voice. Johnny can't be mad at him.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." It is everything he has to say. If he adds anything else it will sound like an excuse and this is the only important thing he has to say right now. "I'm sorry... for everything." He adds after some seconds because he is sorry for everything and he doesn't know better, more appropriate words to say at this moment to his son.

Robby is going to say something when Daniel interferes. It is enough for one day. Daniel says something grateful about his visit and guides him to the door. "I will talk to him but I don't promise anything."

"You've done enough... Thanks." Johnny is ready to go when Daniel stops him.

"What are you going to do?"

"I will be in my dojo and... I will face Kreese in the morning..."

"Do you want me to be there?"

"No..."

"You don't have to do that alone."

"I have to do that alone." He says back. Johnny has to be able to face Kreese. He has to show him he can defeat him that he is no longer scare of him. Well... I have to go now..."

"Yes... Call me if you need something."

Johnny nods and goes to his house. He opens a can but he is unable to drink it. The beer tastes bitter. It is disgusting. After some hour of restless sleep, he decides to go to the dojo. When he opens the door the first thing he sees it is Miguel's trophy. He wanted to give it to him so he could show it in the dojo. Johnny takes the trophy and puts it inside his office. He won't put that in the shelf with his other awards, he is a shame of it and Miguel will be too after he understands what he did.

Johnny opens another beer and after the first sip, he throws it to the bin. He falls asleep alone in his office with the taste of beer in his lips.

Disgusting.

He wakes up at the sound of some knocks in his door. Kreese. He doesn't have to open the door to know who he will find behind it. His hands shake slightly when he grabs the knob. He takes a deep breath and opens the door.

Kreese is there with a smile. He thinks Johnny is happy after what happened. Kreese pats his shoulder and enters without waiting for an invitation.

"I knew you had it in you. I knew it." He says happily. And for some moments Johnny wants to smile at him. He has been waiting for this since he lost against Daniel. The only opinion that mattered to Johnny was Kreese's. He wanted to make his sensei proud and after decades he has what he always wanted. Kreese is proud of him. And Johnny wants to go to him and hug him. This could be a new beginning for him and the dojo. He could be invincible with Kreese and have what he so desperately needed when he was a teenager. He could... "Come on boy, aren't you happy to have me here?"

Johnny thinks about Robby. He has to be better, stronger. He reads the words in the wall: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY. Johnny remembers what Miguel did in the tournament. He did exactly what he taught him to do. He showed no mercy. Something strikes Johnny who realizes what he has created. They are just soldiers. He doesn't want soldiers but fair and brave warriors. He wants what he wanted to be when he was younger; no soldiers.

"No, I'm not happy to see you here." He answers. "I don't want you here. I'm not proud of what I've done." Johnny observes the way Kreese's expression changes at each word. It is not what he was expecting. "That is bullshit." He says pointing to the wall. He tries to find one of the paint can he still has in the dojo but he can't see any. He moves frantically around the room trying to find a can to throw it to the words. "Bullshit." He repeats.

"Are you serious?" Kreese asks. "You won. Your boy won!!!!"

"My boy won but that didn't feel like a victory." He admits. "That's not what karate means."

Kreese laughs. It is a cruel laugh and Johnny feels so ashamed he has to stop moving. "And I thought you had changed." He is making fun of him. "You are still a loser." He continues but Johnny can't hear anything. His lips move but no sound comes from them. He is blocked. He is a loser. He has the life of a loser. Kreese is right. He is a loser... But he won't allow Kreese near his kids. He has to protect them from him. He can do that at least.

"Get out." Johnny wants to believe his voice sounds convincing. "This is my dojo and I don't want you here. Get out."

"You will come to me." Kreese says with a smile. "You will need me eventually. You are useless without me." He sounds certain and Johnny has to restrain himself from going after him. He doesn't need him. He can do this. He can make things right. He doesn't need Kreese.

Kreese leaves and the moment the door closes, Johnny wants to fall to the ground but he stands there for several minutes. If Kreese decides to come back he will see the mess he really is. While standing there he sees the can of white paint. He goes there and takes it. Two minutes later he is painting the wall. He has to find his own words because those are no longer allowed in his class.


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter is here. I'm going to try posting a chapter each week (more or least, I can't promise anything). And I want to say thanks to all the people leaving comments :)
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like this chapter.

The windows are opened when Daniel comes at lunch time with some food. "I like what you've done."

"It is just a bit of paint." It sounds casual like it doesn't mean anything even though it changes everything he knows about life and karate.

But Daniel doesn't have to know. Daniel doesn't have to act like he is brave and incredible just for putting some stupid paint in a wall.

"It is more than that..." Daniel starts saying because of course he would try to say something like that. Of course Daniel would think he is brave and some shit like that. But Johnny doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't deserve those words. He doesn't want those words.

"It's just paint." He cuts Daniel before he has the chance to add something else. "What do you have there?" The question is just an excuse to change the subject and Daniel knows it. He looks now uncomfortable. It is obvious none of them know how to deal with... this... with the possibility of having a normal conversation, of being friends... or something like that. They have been enemies since the first moment their eyes met. They insulted each other and fought. Even after the tournament and what happened after with Kreese, they never tried to talk like normal people. Their feud just remained untouched. It was easier for Johnny; that way he never had to think about... Kreese. Johnny blamed Daniel for everything and decades after when they met each other again he was able to ignore everything that went wrong because of him to just put all the blame on Daniel's shoulders. It worked for the two of them.

The only problem is they don't know how to communicate, how to talk and share anything... They are uncomfortable in the other's presence if they are not fighting. Daniel wants to be nice but it is obvious he doesn't know what words are exactly appropriate with him. And Johnny feels any kind gesture is coming from pity. It is awful. "Some food."

"I know that genius. I can read."

"If you can read why do you ask?"

Johnny hisses and takes the plastic bag that is resting on the ground to look what is inside. Burgers and beer. "Nice." He mumbles. He hasn't way anything since yesterday and now after seeing Daniel, he is starving.

"Let's go to your office to eat there."

"My table is full of stupid papers." Johnny invites him to sit on the ground. Daniel complains but sits in front of him anyways.

"It's disrespectful." It is but Johnny doesn't care at the moment. Nobody will see them and he is so tired and hungry. He needs this.

"It is, but nobody cares." He replies after a long silence. "Miguel can clean this later." Johnny can feel the words forming in Daniel's lips. "It's good for the spirit. He will understand better the importance of... cleaning his mind."

"Unbelievable." The other sighs.

"Mr. Miyagi gave you the same bullshit." Johnny feels the need to defend himself even though there is no attack.

"It was different!" And just like that, they are fighting. It is refreshing for Johnny who has been feeling like drowning for hours. He forgets about Kreese, the tournament, Cobra Kai, Miguel... He forgets about everything that is not them in this moment.

When he finishes his food he lays down on the ground with a smile. He is not happy but he can't say he is sad either.

"Cleaning his mind will be helpful and this way he won't feel like a failure or not rewarded for winning." He finishes the argument. Johnny doesn't want to punish the kid for doing what he taught him to do.

"What you said was weirdly thoughtful."

"I'm a good teacher." Johnny doesn't think about what he says. The words just slip through his lips and when Johnny realizes what he just said it is too late. He can't take the words back. His eyes focus on the ceiling, he is too scared to look at Daniel who must be laughing or finding the perfect reply for that stupid statement. Johnny panics so he does the only thing he can do to avoid any comment from Daniel. "Just kidding." He stands up and takes the bag with the waste from lunch.

"Johnny..." He hears Daniel's voice after him but he ignores him.

"I guess you have a job to go back to, don’t you?" He changes the conversation completely.

"Yes, but... we need to talk."

"Not now." It is a request. Johnny doesn't have the strength. "How is Robby?"

"Fine... Better. He will need more time but he is fine."

"When do you think is a good time to visit him?"

"You can come tonight."

"I'll go tomorrow."

"Johnny..."

"It's better."

"We have to talk."

"We'll talk but not today." Today is going to be an exhausting day for him. He will have to face his students. He will face Miguel and I won't be easy. The boy needed a victory and when he finally has one, Johnny won't let him celebrate it. Miguel deserves better than this and because of his mistakes he... "Tomorrow will be a better day for that. I will go after dinner."

"You can come for dinner."

"I don't think..."

"Think about that. You're not alone." Daniel cuts him. Johnny doesn't say anything else and guides him to the door.

Suddenly Miguel appears at the other side. He is alone and looks at Daniel like he is the devil. "What is he doing here?" Johnny says his farewell to Daniel and takes Miguel in. "Sensei..."

"I invite him." He decides to say. "After the tournament, I decided to make some changes here." Miguel looks troubled by his words. He doesn't like what he is hearing. He can feel that something is not right.

"What happened?" Miguel is looking at the completely white wall. It is obvious he doesn't understand anything. It is fine.

"As I said, I'm going to make some changes." He takes Miguel's stuff so he can start cleaning. For some minutes there is peace in the dojo, a peace that won't last when the class start. Johnny has to mend his mistakes and it won't be easy. They won't understand what is happening and why but he hopes they will listen.

When everybody is ready Johnny makes them look at the empty space where the words were before. "We won't be Cobra Kai anymore." Direct and simple. "After the tournament, I had some time to think about what I was doing and perpetuating and I realized those words made no sense. Strike first... No mercy..." Johnny makes a dramatic pause to give them time to think. "What are we?" None of them answers, not even Miguel. "Are we soldiers?"

"No, sensei." They answer after one second.

"Those were the words of soldiers. Strike first. Strike hard. No mercy... that is bullshit. And not what karate is supposed to mean." He continues and he can feel the confusion in his pupils. "That was the way I learnt karate but those words are wrong. I see that now." He keeps talking about karate and It's precepts. Johnny has read through the years a lot about karate even when he was with Kreese he read books about it. He knew at the time Kreese was wrong but he never wanted to face that reality. He adored and feared Kreese. His adoration never let him think about the fact the man was cruel during his lesson and a sadist any time he had to punish failure. His fear always made him look other way when Kreese ignored simple rules when teaching. Now that has to change. He is not a stupid boy anymore; he has pupils who depend on him. He has the opportunity to be better so he has to do whatever it takes to make things right. "I don't want soldiers; I want fair and brave warriors who can feel proud after any match because they did the right thing because they try as hard as possible." Winning at any cost is not an option. "Karate is a way of life and if I don't show you the right path in class, I don't deserve to be your sensei."

They need a new name and new words. They will create something from the ruins of Cobra Kai.

“What I said before the tournament... the no mercy shit... I was being a dick. I was numbed for something... All that is bullshit because if you show no mercy, none of us will be better than the people who called you loser before.” They all were losers before he opened the dojo. They needed to be reminded that they are special and incredible; they don’t need to become morons and bullies. “Forget that bullshit. And remember this; if you attack to the weak, if you attack to the back... then you are pussies.” This is a call out for all of them. "Times are changing." He finishes and everybody seems excited but Miguel. "That wall won't be empty forever, the moment we find our path it will be the day we will write our new motto."

The class passes with a suffocating peace for Johnny who can feel Miguel's nervousness boiling through the session. He must sense he did something wrong during the tournament. His trophy is not in the exhibitor and Johnny hasn't said anything about it. When the class ends, Johnny takes Miguel to his office where the award is resting in a small table. "I'm proud of you." He starts. Miguel had to know he is proud of him. "That trophy will end in the shelf but it won't be today or tomorrow."

"When then?"

"When you understand what you did." The day Miguel feels ashamed of the way he won the tournament it will be the day he will deserve a place in the exhibit.

"I won. That's what I did."

"There is a lesson you have to learn and when you do it, I will put it."

"I didn't do anything wrong. I found his weakness and I won." Johnny nods. What Miguel did is not illegal but it is wrong. "That's why LaRusso was here, isn't it? He is a sore loser like his kid."

"I called him..." But Miguel doesn't hear anything the rest of the sentence. He storms out of the dojo leaving Johnny alone in the office. It could have been worse, he has to admit.

He goes home and takes a beer from the refrigerator. He is tired. Since Kreese's visit, he is in constant tension and his muscles are starting to hurt badly and his back is killing him.  He finishes the beer in two long sips and opens another one. The alcohol helps with the pain hence he keeps drinking. It is a mistake. Starting a third one is a mistake but he does it and ends with the six-pack of beers. The other night he was begging Daniel for help because he wanted to be better and 24h later he is lying on the ground completely wasted but a bit drunk and with no idea about what he should do or how Daniel could help him to fix this. If he makes the wrong decision, he can lose his kids and only god knows what Kreese will turn them into. He has to try...

That thought is never finished. Johnny falls asleep and in his dream, he doesn't find a solution. His dream is his worst nightmare where Kreese takes all his kids even Robby and twist them till Cobra Kai is reborn under his pleased smile in front of Johnny who can only watch the debacle.

Johnny wakes up in the middle of the night with his mouth dry and a slight headache. His body hurt even more after sleeping in the ground. "Stupid Lawerence." He mumbles with his eyes closed. "Don't let that happen." There is nothing in the fridge but beer so he goes to the dojo with his stomach empty. He has to stop Kreese and there is only one way to do it. He puts a white gi, a colour he hates, and starts training. There is only one way to finish this and he has to be ready for when the time comes.

He only stops to get a coffee in the cafeteria from the corner. The barista knows him and greets him with a smile. Since he opened the dojo people are nicer to him so he gets a cookie for free because what he is doing for those kids is amazing. He accepts the cookie because he is starving but goes to the dojo to continue with his training. There is something peaceful in the middle of all this mess. When was the last time he trained with a purpose? When was the last time he pushed his body like this? He has been training with his pupils since he kind of adopted Miguel. He has run with them and fought with them but never with this intensity, never like this. The last time he exercises like this was when he was preparing himself to fight against Daniel in the tournament. After that he never had the strength to dedicate hours and hours to perfect his technique. He always lacked an objective.

"Black has been always your colour." A voice says after him. Johnny breathes and controls his reaction. "And Cobra Kai your home." He turns slowly to face his former sensei. "Don't abandon what makes you, you. Don't pretend to be someone who you are not."

"Cobra Kai stopped being my home the day you repudiate me as your pupil." Johnny retorts with a strong voice with which he pretends to hide the fact he still fears that man.

"You were weak."

"No. I just lost a combat..."

"Against a cripple!" Kreese cuts him. He is still mad at what happened. "Do you understand the shame I felt?"

"I don't give a shit about your fucking shame." Johnny has to be strong. Going back to Kreese is not an option. He has to remind himself that what happened that night wasn’t Daniel’s fault. He lost a combat, he had a well deserved second position; he could have won but not the way Kreese wished. He has to remind he didn’t do anything wrong; that Daniel is not the one to blame for that night. Johnny has to remind himself how Kreese treated him, the violence in his actions when he pushed him against the car and the words that came later.

"But you finally did something right with that loser. He did what you didn't have the guts to do. He is your redemption." Miguel can be his redemption but not like this, not at that cost. "He is who you were too afraid of being in the past. He is a winner."

"Stay away from him." Kreese shows a sardonic smile.

"He doesn't have your weak blood running through his veins..." It is a mistake and he knows it the exact moment he moves his body to deliver a punch. Kreese is just provoking him;  it is what he does. It is what he always has been doing. Kreese is testing the waters to get on his nerves. However, he can't stop himself. Robby doesn't deserve to be compared with him. He doesn't deserve to be called a loser just because Johnny is a useless human being and a negligent father.

"Stay away from them."  His voice is a hiss, it sounds vicious and rough. Kreese smiles but Johnny can perceive something else, something new. The smile is a façade.

"Black is your colour, don't forget that." He spits before leaving him alone. Kreese is messing with him and Johnny knows it but he can't...  He is falling...

Johnny looks at his White gi. Kreese is right about that. Black is his colour. White doesn’t suit him. He looks weird and lost in that colour. He is not Daniel. Changing his clothes won’t change anything.

"He is right." Johnny says to himself looking at his gi with disgust. It is not his colour.

"Who was right?" Johnny jumps when he hears the question. How can be Daniel so fucking convenient? "You look weird." He adds when he realizes Johnny won't answer his question.

"It is not my colour." Johnny sighs. "It's yours." Daniel smiles.

"Why do you have a white gi then?"

"There was an offer so I took it. But I don't like it... Kreese is right, black is my colour."

"What does Kreese has to do with your gi?" Daniel won't like what he is going to say but Johnny tells him about his visit anyways. Daniel has come to help and Johnny is not thinking about wasting his best opportunity to deal with Kreese and win. "He's an asshole."

"He's right about the gi though." He hates the clothes, it doesn't feel right. His usual clothes are right, black is perfect for him. He likes the contrast of his skin against the black fabric.

"It's just a colour. And for once, Kreese is right, black suits you better and that doesn't have to mean anything else than that. You're not him." It is like Daniel knows what he needs to hear to feel better and Johnny appreciates the words. “And that is just a colour.”

"Why are you here?" Johnny changes the subject.

"Lunch." Daniel smiles showing him a plastic bag.

"Is this a thing now?" Johnny opens the bag to see what it is inside and makes a face when he finds the salad and two little boxes that look too fancy to be burgers. "What the hell?"

"We can’t live only of burgers and beer."

"I can."

"And you will die soon." Johnny shrugs like if he cares about that. He has lived enough; he has made enough mistakes for three lifetimes.

They eat again in the ground but this time they go to a corner and Johnny puts something on the ground so there is no need to clean after. They have a nice time together. Daniel is nice; too posh sometimes but he is nice. Johnny can use this time together to relax and forget about all the things that are wrong with him.

"Miss LaRusso won't miss you?"

"We don't usually eat together. I have a company to run and she has to take care of her own business." Of course Daniel wouldn't come here if he could be with his family.

"How is Robby?" He dares to ask. He hasn't seen him since that night and it only has been two days but to Johnny feels like an eternity.

"He's fine. He's working and training."

"Tell him to take things easy." It is a stupid thing to say but Johnny is concerned about his son's shoulder.

"Are you coming tonight for dinner?" Johnny wants to say that is a bad idea. Johnny wants to give any shitty idea to not going there but no sounds come out of his mouth. He is terrified but at the same time he is desperate to see Robby again. "No excuses? Perfect."

"Does he know I'm coming?" Johnny would hate to see his son through a trap or something like that. "I don't want to impose..."

"He knows and he is ok with that. He's coming for dinner because you're coming too."

Johnny nods and sighs. Robby must hate him after everything he has done or hasn't done. He is a great kid who deserved better parents, a real family. The last time he saw him he was an angry teenager who did all the wrong thing just to get their attention. Johnny thought he couldn't do anything for him so he left a house he hated, a woman he couldn't stand and a boy he didn't know how to help because he preferred to waste his days surrounded by empty bottles than take responsibility of a child.

"Robby must hate me." It is just a whisper but he said that strong enough for Daniel to hear him. He wants to be heard. Johnny knows him well. Daniel is a nice guy and he will have to say something to make him feel better; it will be a lie but Johnny is ok with that. Johnny needs the lie. Daniel will deny his words and will say a beautiful and simple lie. Johnny truly belies Robby hates him. Why wouldn't he? Robby is a good kid and Johnny abandoned him even though he knew he was a good kid who needed a father, a proper role model to follow. So why wouldn't Robby hate him after everything? Now he knows how great he is. All thanks to Daniel...

Nothing makes sense in his mind right now. Two days ago he was outrageous with the man because he took his son and performed the father’s role with him and now he is grateful because of that; because probably that has saved his son from becoming him.

Everything is too confused and painful for him. Johnny notices Daniel moving next to him, preparing an answer to his comment; a lie.

"He doesn't hate you." The words linger in his mouth, he is waiting for Johnny to look at him but he is not going to do that. Johnny is too smart for that. The moment he looks at Daniel's eyes, he will know he is lying and he is certain he won't be able to stand the lie. It will be easier for him if he just accepts his words. A nice lie is better than the cruel reality. "Johnny." Daniel insists and Johnny can feel his strength crumbling. He is lost the moment he feels Daniel's hand squeezing his shoulder hence he turns his head to look at him in the eye. "He doesn't hate you." He insists and Johnny can't see the lie shinning in his dark eyes. He is telling the truth. He believes his own words. And Johnny should say something, the typical and stupid thank you but he has lost his voice. He knows if he tries to say something he will cry.

In what moment he lost completely the control over his own life? In what moment his late became so damn difficult? In what moment his life became this mess? He had a shitty life; in what moment he screwed everything even more?

"You should go; lunch time is almost over..." That is the only thing he can say.

"Johnny..." It is obvious Daniel doesn't want to leave yet but he doesn't have a good reason to stay. The touch of his hand lingers till Johnny moves. "I'll see you tonight."

"I will bring beer." It is the best thing he can say.

"There is no need for that, I have..."

"I don't trust the kind of beer you have in your house Danielle." It is easy to start joking with Daniel. None of them knows how to deal with the tension existing between them hence it is better if they just joke and lighten the conversation.

"Whatever." It is everything he has to say before taking his jacket. "We'll be waiting for you. Don't come late."

Johnny gives him an apathetic goodbye wave. The moment he is alone he takes the leftovers and throws them to the bin. He has some time till the students start coming so he trains. However, after a while Miguel is there. He is coming too early these days and Johnny doesn't like that. He has school, he should be studying...

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class?"

"I left early. I would rather be here." It is not a good answer. Johnny has met his family and for what he has heard they need a scholarship for Miguel to go to college.

"You have exams." Miguel doesn't say anything. He is changing and Johnny doesn't like what he is seeing. "You should be in class." Miguel goes to him and shows him some pamphlets about more tournaments. He wants to go to those. "I don't think we are ready for those."

"Why not?"

"Because I say so." He takes the papers from his hands and puts them in his office.

"What happens with the gi?"

"What...?"

"You never wear white." It is true. He hates white and everybody knows it. Miguel is angry and he is not going to take changes well.

"The others were dirty." He makes an excuse. "This was available."

"I don't like it." Johnny knows this kind of comments. His son made them all the time with him. Miguel is provoking him but Johnny knows better than to answer.

"Me neither."

The time passes with a strange feeling in class. All of the students feel something weird happening even though they can see what. It is not just the wall, it is everything. Johnny is focusing on defensive movements. He is pushing them in a different way. The younger students are taking the changes better. Aisha is enjoying the class because it is giving her a style she feels more comfortable with. She is the stronger kid he has and defensive movements suit her best. He is teaching an important lesson that Miguel and Hawk are not liking very much but it is necessary. When the class finishes, Miguel doesn't try to talk with him and Johnny is grateful for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all for now.
> 
> Comments and kudos are welcomed!


	3. III

He goes home and takes a shower. For some reason, he wants to make a good impression at LaRusso's. He puts some informal but clean and nice clothes and buys his favourite beer.

It is weird to be left coming inside the house without a fight. It feels nice. Amanda is polite as always and greets him with a smile. The kids try to be polite but Johnny can see they don't want him here. Daniel invites him and takes the beers from his hand and finally, he sees his son. Robby looks calm and even gives him a weird handshake.

Dinner passes quietly with nice conversations about nothing in particular. Anthony asks him some questions about his dojo and the fact it will probably be destroyed by his father's dojo. Johnny has to bite his tongue multiples time because saying the wrong thing to a kid, even if he is an idiot, is socially frowned upon. So he takes everything and fights against himself and his sharp tongue. Daniel's family is almost perfect and Johnny can see his son struggling with that perfection just like him. They both feel like outcasts during the dinner but they enjoy it. This is something they always dreamt. Maybe Johnny could start inviting his son for dinner some time.

When they finish Amanda guides them to the salon so they can have some time to talk.

"So..." Johnny doesn't know how to start. How do you fix a nonexistence relationship with a son? "How are you...? Your arm..."

"It's fine. I can move it without problem... Daniel will continue with the training next week."

"Good... that's good. I'm glad to hear that." It is absurd and silly but they start talking and it feels right.

He has no right to say he should go back to classes so he doesn't; maybe he can talk to Daniel later, Robby will hear him. It is better that way. They stay in silence for a minute, incapable to think about what to say. "I'm sorry." He gulps the moment he speaks. He is not sure if it is the right moment to say that but Johnny feels that if he doesn't apologize now he will never have the chance to do it.

"For everything. I..."

"It's fine." Robby cuts him. This is uncomfortable for them. Johnny has never behaved like a real father so this is weird and probably Robby doesn't know how to respond to his words. They should talk, Johnny should talk to his son and explain to him why he is the way he is; why he never tried to do anything right in his life till this moment. He felt betrayed when he saw Robby with Daniel so he can imagine how his son felt when he watched him act like a father with another boy. They should talk even if Johnny doesn't know how to handle that kind of conversations. They need to talk. "Congratulations."

"What for?"

"The tournament."

"We didn't deserve to win... not like that." Johnny didn't win the tournament against Daniel because he didn't want to do it as Miguel did.

After that, they fall in a tense silence. Johnny doesn't know how to talk to his son if it is not to scold him.

"This is a nice house." Johnny looks at Robby who just said something so stupid that he sounds like him.

"Too posh for my taste."

"Right? It is absurd all the decorations they have." And suddenly the words flow between them. There is fragile tension in the atmosphere that could be easily broken but they are talking and that is all that matter.

When Daniel comes they change the subject quickly and they laugh. Maybe he can save this. Maybe it is not too late for them.

Suddenly Sam and Amanda are with them as well and they talk together. Johnny knows what they are doing; they are helping them to talk, to be comfortable around each other. Robby ends talking alone with Sam. He likes the girl but after observing them, Johnny can see she doesn't feel the same. He could say something later but probably Robby will get mad at him because it is none of his business. He is right, so Johnny will let his son try if he wants to. He guesses there are things a father shouldn't talk about with a son. At some point, Johnny realizes they are alone in the salon. Amanda has gone along with Sam to leave Robby in his apartment after saying goodbye and Anthony has left to sleep.

It is time to talk.

"What are you going to do?" Daniel is too polite and asks first about what is he thinking.

"Kill Cobra Kai."

"That's a good beginning but what happens next." Johnny doesn't know exactly what to do next.

"I'd try to the things right. Make them forget all the shit I've been saying for weeks about being pussies and all that bullshit." It is not enough. They need a good example because he is not. They have seen him completely drunk and wasted so they need a better role model; someone like Daniel. "Maybe you could come someday... Robby has told me you are opening a dojo maybe... we... we could have some kind of healthy rivalry." It is a good idea, Johnny is certain it is a good idea. "We could make some combats from time to time, share..." it is difficult to find the words. Johnny has been reading all his life about karate, about what it means but never has put it into practice because he was too drunk and mad all the time.

" That's actually a good idea." Daniel seems happy with that. "I'll need time to prepare my students but they could be good for us."

"Right?" Suddenly Johnny feels confident. "We make amends and show them what is like... to have a fair fight without all that teenage anger."

They are laughing now. Daniel is into the idea. He really likes it and Johnny can breathe easily after this conversation. Daniel said he would help but Johnny wasn't sure if he would agree or not. He could have close his dojo and Johnny would have understood so this is good news for him. He is not losing his dojo.

"And what about Kreese?" Johnny was expecting the question since he entered the house but still, he doesn't have an answer for that

"I will handle him when the times come." It is all he needs to say. "Before I go... can you talk with Robby? Tell him he has to go back to school. He can't lose another year."

"You could tell that yourself."

"He won't listen to me." Johnny stands up when he hears the door; Amanda and Sam are here so he guesses it is time for him to go.

"Are you leaving already?"

"It's late."

"There is still beer..."

"Save it for next time." He doesn't think about his words, he just wants to leave.

"So there will be a next time." Daniel closes the deal with a quick handshake.

"Are you leaving?" Amanda asks when she enters the room.

"It's late." Amanda looks genuinely sad for his words. "I should go."

Johnny leaves the house. They haven't talked that much but it has been enough and he had the chance to be with Robby.

That night Johnny can have a restful sleep. He doesn't dream about anything. Everything is dark and the next morning he is grateful for a night of peaceful silence. He needed it.

Next morning Johnny trains again. This time he wears his dark clothes without the Cobra on his back. It feels liberating. Even his body feels lighter, his movements are faster and more precise. The fact that last night didn't drink till falling asleep has helped too. That day Kreese doesn't appear bit Daniel comes at lunch with food, reminding him he has to eat something.

"So this is actually a thing."

"I told you so." Daniel goes to the same corner. "A good thing I must add because without me I have the feeling you wouldn't eat anything at all." Johnny doesn't waste their time denying the obvious.

Johnny could get used to this, he thinks; having lunch with Daniel every day, talking like old friends about nothing and laughing together. He feels a warm feeling spreading through his body when Daniel smiles at him while sharing an amazing salad that Johnny doesn't want to recognize it is delicious.

"Now that I know you better I can see some similarities with your son." Johnny denies those words.

"Thank God Robby is nothing like me... or his mother." Robby is better than them, he has proved it.

"He has to be like someone..."

"His grandmother." He doesn't add anything else and Daniel doesn't ask about her. "Laura made her mistakes but was an angel." There is no need to say something else about her. She has been the only good thing in Johnny's life and when he lost her is the day he lost himself. Sid only gave him money in order to not having to deal with him and clean his conscience.

When Johnny looks at Daniel, he feels there is something he is not telling him, like Daniel knows a secret about Robby he won't share with him. He could ask but as always he doesn't because he is terrified of what he can find. Ignorance is better even though is killing him. When Daniel has to leave, Johnny has to restrain himself to no asking him to stay some more minutes. He would love to be with Daniel a bit longer but he remains in silence when Daniel left.

In solitude, he keeps training till Miguel comes early again. He is skipping classes.

"You should be in class."

"It was P.E."

"That doesn't change the fact you should be in class." Miguel retorts something but Johnny doesn't hear what. For the kid's good, he decides to ignore him. "Karate is important but don't forget college is your future." What is he doing? He is not his father... However, he is the only one who can try to help him to make the right choices.

Miguel finds that class stupid and boring which is not a surprise for Johnny. The kid is mad at him and he just wants to destroy his enemies without being a pussy. Big mistake using that word for everything.

Watching Aisha something hits him. He could use Daniel's help to make a demonstration in the early future in his dojo so they understand the importance of defensive moves and when to use offensive ones.

At the end of the lesson, Miguel stays.

"Why are we doing this sensei?"

"Because it will be good for all of you."

"How can that be possible? We won because we stroked first because we showed no mercy."

"Yes, and I didn't like that. Hawk lost the opportunity to win because he attacked an adversary when he wasn't ready and you won but I think it would have been a more satisfying winning if the rival wasn't injured."

"Never apologize for winning. That's what you said."

"Yes, but I didn't realize I forgot the second part. Never apologize for winning with honour. If you cheat, if you... If there is no honour, winning makes no sense, there is no glory in that because the other never had a chance."

"That's not what you told us!!"

"And I regret that but..."

"You're punishing me."

"I will put your trophy the day you learn your lesson."

"You hate me because I did what you couldn't." He shouts and those words are completely unexpected for Johnny who looks at Johnny in disbelief. Is he trying to hurt him? Does he know what happened with Daniel?

"Why would I hate my best pupil?" Johnny goes to Miguel who accepts his hand over his shoulder. "You gave me the chance to become a sensei. I owe you this..." He sounds a bit like a pussy but he doesn't care. "That trophy will be on a shelf but there is a lesson first." Miguel nods more relaxed suddenly. Being sappy like Danielle can be positive sometimes. "Go home and rest."

Miguel smiles and Johnny wants to believe things are better. When he is alone he cleans and before leaving he puts the trophy on his table so Miguel and everybody can see it when the door is open. He goes home and buys a pizza because he knows he doesn't have anything to eat. Maybe he should buy groceries tomorrow, Daniel is right, he can live on beers and burgers.

Saturdays he has only a one hour class and after that, he has all the day for himself. He buys food and decides he has enough money to buy a coffee maker, nothing fancy but at least he will drink some decent coffee. He buys beers but there is healthy food too. He is going to face Kreese he needs to be ready and that means taking care of his body. He spends the rest of the morning watching tv and thinking about the best way to approach Robby and invite him to have dinner together.

In the afternoon he goes to his dojo to train. He doesn't have anything better to do and this way he doesn't think about his shitty life or the fact he has missed having lunch with Daniel. He could train with Daniel someday, they could have a friendly fight in private. Johnny would love facing Daniel again and show him what he capable of doing. That idea has been in Johnny's head since they met each other. Maybe next time they could talk about that, Daniel is open to the idea and now that everything is solved between them is the best way to open a new era for their relationship.

For dinner, he has a pizza and beer. He is boring watching TV. He has missed having Daniel around or his pupils. He is getting used to the company. Miguel hasn’t come either and that is so weird. The kid loves spending time with him in the dojo. Johnny wants to think the kid has been studying after missing all those classes.

In the lonesomeness, he feels empty suddenly. He would love having someone to talk, to share his days. He opens another beer and thinks about Daniel. He has everything he ever wanted even when they were kids. The man is so fucking lucky and he doesn’t know it. Johnny thinks about the last days with Daniel, he wants to be mad at him, a little bit, but he can’t. He is a decent guy even if he won with an illegal kick in that tournament and he was a bit idiot sometimes. He is funny and caring. Daniel is all the things he doesn’t know how to be. And he would love having him here at this moment.

Johnny drinks a third beer because there is nothing else he can do in his house. He drinks because he is lonely so nobody cares. He is not bitter with anyone, Johnny knows this is his fault but still it hurts him the fact he is alone and he has so much time on his hands to think about anything. He puts some music on an old radio and listens to Scorpions. Music is the only thing he can count with. Music always put away his fears and ghosts. Drinking is a bad way to deal with this but Johnny doesn’t know another way. He is alone and... He has missed Daniel’s company for two days. They have a great time when they are together. Daniel is funny and with him, he forgets he is a loser and even believes he can do something right. Daniel believes in him and there is no way Johnny can destroy that man’s spirit as he has done with others.

Johnny drinks too much which is a problem because alcohol only increases his problems before he can forget them. And for some reason, Scorpions are not helping at the moment. Johnny thinks about how he feels with Daniel and the fact his skin is always warm and makes him feel better. Johnny understands how dangerous those thoughts are because he has had them before. He recognizes what they mean and it terrifies him. He misses Daniel too much after only two days without seeing him. He is a poor idiot, a masochist who must love suffering because he always chooses so wrong... He is married and no into him; a drunk and a poor loser.

He shouldn’t drink but at this moment, he needs alcohol to be able to acknowledge his feelings and think about Daniel. His life is a mess and will be a mess forever. He is a disaster... He knows all the problems he has to face at the moment and what does he do? He just digs a more open hole to fall into. He should be running from this, not drinking to be able to clean his conscience next day by blaming to the alcohol the fact he has... desires his old rival.

How can he be like this?

Why does he love complicating his life like this?

He has to deal with Kreese, with Miguel, with Robby, with his own misery and life... So why is he complicating his life even more?

Johnny drinks to have an excuse now.

He drinks because he needs to get something else from his heart.

He drinks because there is something else asphyxiating him and he needs to put a name on the feeling.

Johnny drinks because he has to do something, to recognize what is happening.

So Johnny drinks...

He drinks to find an excuse to unzip his trousers, to put his hand inside and touch himself. It is easy. He can blame alcohol and loneliness. How many mistakes has he made something like that while being drunk? How many times has he said the alcohol was the one making him do... anything stupid? It is easy. He knows how this works for him and this time won’t be different. Therefore he keeps drinking with his fingers around his dick because if he is lucky he won’t remember anything the next day.

He has done before with other names and other bodies.

Johnny falls asleep with Daniel’s name on his lips and his hot semen dripping through his fingers.

When he wakes up the next morning, he tries to be positive. He tries really hard. He hasn’t lost yet. There is hope. Kreese is not invincible even though it feels like that. He is just human like everybody else. Johnny can win this. Johnny can save his dojo. Johnny can show the world he is not a failure. Johnny omits Daniel’s problem on purpose because there is nothing to do there. Daniel is happily married and has a wonderful family to take care of. Daniel is not a problem in his life. They are friends and that is fine and good, besides there are more important problems in his life right now.

Johnny makes coffee but ends adding a small shot of gin in it. He closes his eyes and smells the hot drink. There is hope yet. He doesn’t have to screw things up. He doesn’t... “You can do this.” He repeats over and over like a mantra even when he doesn’t really believe those words. He uses that time to eat something and takes some pills for his headache. Maybe he is a piece of shit but he has to fight.

“You can do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are welcomed! :)

**Author's Note:**

> This is all for the moment. What will happen next?
> 
> Comments and kudos are welcomed and will make me happy :)


End file.
